A Decade of Knowledge
I feel like every year that ends, it's very normal to think back on the year and reflect on all the blessings, lessons learned, rough patches and highlights. But the end of a decade is something different. A decade is such a long time and offers so much change. For instance, I have not even been married 10 years nor did I have kids 10 years ago - I mean AK and I were not even dating 10 years ago! Let that sink in. So many things have shifted in my life in the last 10 years or have come full circle. I never imagined a doctor I met 10 years ago would be the one key player in why I'm starting a new job in January. My point here is I've gathered some knowledge and pointers along the way and I thought I'd share the ten most important (in my opinion) things I've learned in the last decade. Some I've learned this year and others I learned the first few days of 2010, but either way they've shaped me in to the person I am today and I think they're worth sharing. Not only that I've spent a lot of time in the second half of 2019 soul searching and figuring out where my passions lie.
#1. Be You - So simple and so easy to say, but so hard to live at times. But seriously "be you!" No one knows you more than you so be yourself. Be honest to yourself and love yourself. And the "you" you know today may be different in 10 years and that's okay. Just Be You.
#2. Find your tribe - I spent the first 18 years of my life growing up in a small town so therefore I never lacked a tribe of people and a sense of community and that is one thing I've taken with me along the way. I have consistently had a tribe of people that love me and have my back. I recently read a quote that said something like "if you're people aren't in your corner and cheering you on when good things happen, they aren't your people!" Think about that and then think about the people in your corner. Those are your people. It may surprise you who those consistent people are, but they are the people to keep investing in. We've certainly all learned this the hard way a time or two, but something I'm incredibly proud of is the company I keep in my corner near and far.
#3. Take chances - One thing having children has taught me is that things typically work out. Whether they work out exactly when you want is another story, but in the end things work out. And if I'm being honest, I wish I would have had that epiphany a long time ago and let myself be more adventurous. People tend to be more adventurous in their 20's, but I would say my 30's have been more of a wild ride than my 20's. Just this year I resigned from my job for some complicated reasons, but in the end everything has worked out. After my resignation, I was pushed to start this blog, which has been nothing but a wonderful experience and on January 6th I start a new Pediatric Nurse Practitioner job I would have never applied for had I not left my previous role. Take chances, because things work out. After all, you tend to regret the things in life you didn't do. So if you're thinking about something, go do it!
#4. Set Goals - Goal setting is such a good habit to get in to. I have always been achievement oriented and I feel extremely accomplished when everything on my to-do lists get crossed off. Nothing beats the feeling of setting your sights on something and working your booty off to achieve it. I set a goal at the beginning of 2019 start this blog - that was all - just start the blog and I have far exceeded that and the benefit to me personally has far exceeded what I thought it would and this is just a hobby I enjoy. I have also set parenting goals (like yell less than 3 times after 5pm HAHA), workout goals (how many times per week I'm going to work out), and Andy and I just talked about some personal goals for 2020. Even if I don't meet my goals 100%, I always learn something along the way and feeling like I'm working towards something important to me.
#5. Don't Burn Bridges - If there is one thing to know if you're a career oriented person, it would be do not burn bridges. The more people you know and the more people that will validate you're a decent performer, the better off you'll be to keep moving up or moving on. One of the only reasons I got a last second interview and was the chosen candidate for this new job is because I had built a number of positive relationships at my previous employer. They made calls, wrote letters, and tracked down key decision makers for the position all on my behalf. From the time you start working, I would strongly advise to not burn bridges.
#6. Be kind - Doesn't this sound so simple? I tend to believe that most people have good intentions, but people also have the ability to make really poor choices. I can honestly tell you though that the most complicated situations in my life have gone better the kinder I was. It has never paid off to get upset and lose my temper - even with my kids when I'm frustrated. They do not respond to my frustration the way they do when I hold my composure and explain my frustration in a kind way. And the state our divided country is in, it's always a good reminder to be kind. Kindness always wins. Period. End of story.
#7. Compromise and Communicate - These two go together like peanut butter & jelly in my opinion. The last half of this decade AK and I have been married and we would be no where near where we are today without compromise and communication. The day to day communication is of course imperative because we have two little kids relying on our ability to get them where they need to be, but overall we have worked hard at improving communication over the years. We have also compromised on many things as well. There is no score card, but when one of us really needs something from the other or wants something we try and respect that need or wish. I will also say you will get nowhere without communication and compromise in any work setting. It's something to master for sure.
#8. Take care of yourself - Whatever it is you do to take care of yourself, do it with regularity. Run. Walk. Do yoga. Read. Unplug for a 24 hours. Travel. Do it. Do it all. Our bodies are machines and if we don't take care of them they will eventually wear out, and you will be happier if you make time for "you" on a regular basis. Self care isn't selfish.
#9. Work Hard - Nothing worth bragging about comes to you without hard work. And one of the best gifts you can give a child is work ethic. Teach them the value of a dollar and working hard. For as long as I can remember, I've had some kind of job - detasseling corn, baby sitting, working as a nursing assistant, working at a paper store, and then of course working as a nurse. My point is, my parents made us work and if we weren't "working" we were absolutely expected to help around the house (laundry, dishes, mowing the yard, etc). The jobs and projects I'm most proud of in my past came with a ton of hard work. I even apply this to parenting - it's really tough to be a parent, but I hear if you work hard at it, it pays off in the end. I guess we will see, but this theory has not let me down yet.
#10. Have a forgiving heart - You will be happier if you can forgive people. When I think about when I was 25, I wasn't near as forgiving as I ought to be. I held grudges and in the end it ate at me and I was miserable and I was really the one that suffered. Once I learned to let stuff go and forgive people, I felt so much lighter and happier. I'm not perfect, no one is, but I will say the more forgiving you are the easier life will be.
None of these are earth shattering or things you have not heard of, but hopefully they are reminders to some or even tips for young woman to hold on to. They've certainly been valuable pearls for me on my journey. May 2020 bring you all the blessings, lessons, and memories you're hoping for.
Happy New Year.
AFK